What’s that phrase: too long; didn’t read? ;) Becky and
Audrey have me in a reflective mood, so here’s some random musings if you’ll
bear with me! There’s no way around it.
It’s been a rough year. For those of us who have a tendency to struggle with
anxiety, depression, or other mental illness, it’s been especially exhausting.
For those of us who struggle with perfectionism and feeling like we’re behind
on our life goals, it has felt devastating at times, feeling like we’re standing
still.
But this year has
also put some things in perspective. I’ve been even more grateful for relationships
and connections. My heart has broken losing one of my closest friendships and
seeing relationships strained due to politics. But my heart has also been filled
seeing others show that they care. Seeing our Zumba class create an online
community who supports and challenges one another, singing with some of my
favorite altos over the phone since we can’t meet to sing in person and we just
really miss making music, sharing activity ideas with other Bigs through the
BBBS community, figuring out how to do online game and movie nights with
friends, helping my uncle edit his first book, and finding random surprises on
our doorstep, to name a few--- there have been so many unexpected ways that we’ve
been able to connect. And ultimately, when it comes down to it, connection is
more important than just about anything. To all of you who have been reaching
out or who just wanted to spend time together (virtually too!), I am extremely
grateful.
I took that free Yale course earlier in the year about the
Science of Well-Being. It helped remind me of my values and of the power of
gratitude. I’m slowly rewiring my brain to focus more on the good by writing
down what I’m thankful for every morning. I’ve learned that deep breathing and
meditation can actually calm me down when I remember to practice it regularly.
I’ve found that leaving my phone outside of our bedroom allows me to sleep
better and to not feel so rushed in the morning. I’ve realized that structure
and goals make me feel more fulfilled. I’ve been reminded of the importance of
exercise and continue to see the very real psychological benefits of moving my
body every day. (By the way, this was also a big year since I discovered shoes
that work just as well as the cortisone shots I normally get to help relieve my
neuroma pain!) I’ve been reminded of how hiking, biking, and nature can be
healing, and realized that I don’t need to travel across the country to enjoy
an adventure with Brandon. Trying new crafts, recipes, games, and activities
all help me feel better when things feel mundane. I am happiest when I am
learning, teaching the kiddos I care for, helping others, singing, writing, being creative, or honestly just being
present with people I care about.
This year has taught
me that sometimes it’s enough to just be. It’s ok if you don’t feel like you’re
making progress on your goals as long as you’re not giving up. So to all of you
who are feeling exhausted or discouraged or alone, please know that you’re not.
If you’re reading this, I care about you. You’ve likely inspired me by your
kindness, your creativity, or just the way you view the world. There’s always going to be
challenges, but you’re capable of so much more than you think. Hey, we’re
almost through 2020 after all, right? ;)
What’s one thing you’ve learned this year?
